Bury me in My Sweatpants

So, a few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend who has a cousin with a young grandson. They were at a funeral for grandma who had passed, and the grandson says, “is grandma going to wear that outfit for the rest of her life?” Kind of a cute story, but this got me thinking about some things, especially as it relates to legacy.

For what it’s worth, I have been to many funerals in my life. And in the cultural world I come from, in the process of planning to send our loved ones on their eternal journey, there always seems to be significant discussion on the final clothing we place them in. Like grandpa’s fine suit or grandma’s nice dress. Fair enough. But in the planning process, do we always do it for them, or is it for us? Is it what they want? Is it cultural? Tradition? Just what we do? Sometimes there are arguments. Other times it seems completely obvious, and everyone agrees. Interesting symbolism.

Obviously, the story above is simply a bit of a metaphor. But as we ask deeper questions, how do we want to be represented when we are gone? After all, one thing for sure is we will all have our turn in the legacy business. So, do our children know exactly what our wishes are? Do we want to carry on any family traditions or specific community activities that are near and dear to us? Or have we ourselves even taken the time to inventory the things that matter to us, and define what we consider a life well lived? Do those who matter know which “outfit” will best represent us as we are shown for all the world to see? These are some of the most interesting questions we will ever ask ourselves, and also the most meaningful. It seems they often present a block for many of us as they remind us of our own mortality. However, I would argue that a well-thought-out legacy plan can be one of the most freeing things you can ever create for yourself and your family.

So, let’s all pay close attention to the special things each of those close to us brings to this world. Let us honor who they are, what they impart on our lives, and the representative road they pave as they go before us. And just as important, let us share our own stories so they can do the same for us when it is our turn. It can mean everything.

Side note. For the record, you would think more people would want to be buried in their sweatpants. After all, it may not be a perfect representation of our legacy, but if you’re going to go somewhere for eternity, you would probably want to be as comfortable as possible. Lol. Maybe a conversation for another time. Take care.

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